"The Questions Are Important": In Conversation with Rebecca Walker
Talking about motherhood, money, and writing with someone I love
Rebecca Walker is a writer, editor and innovator.
She was named one of America’s most influential leaders by Time Magazine and has worked with some of the most creative people in the world, including Madonna, Steven Spielberg, Kara Walker, Mara Brock Akil, Mike Nichols, Joey Soloway, Tig Notaro, Me’Shell NdegeOcello, Dawoud Bey, and Kehinde Wiley.
She is the author of Time For Us, Women Talk Money (featured in Ramona at Midlife), Baby Love (mentioned as “Rebecca’s book” in our film ), Ade; A Love Story, Black, White, and Jewish and many many others, and the editor of anthologies including Black Cool, To Be Real and One Big Happy Family.
And all of that is incredible. But I love her for other reasons.
In the 35 years I have known her, Rebecca has continually inspired me to take big swings, stepping into my own voice as a writer and claiming a place at the table. Back when we were young women, Rebecca’s confidence inspired me to find my own. Her unshakeable belief in her own value showed me what was possible.
Here is the conversation we had last week, about life, writing, motherhood, and asking the questions. The conversation was edited for length and clarity.
BB: You’ve just published your first children’s book, Time for Us.
RW: Yes. Time For Us is based on my life with my son when we lived on Maui. In a way, it’s the next chapter of Baby Love [her memoir about the choice to become a mother]. I’m enjoying this moment of seeing my son go out into the world twenty years after asking the question, Should I have a child? And now that I see him in the world and all he’s bringing to the world, I’m so grateful I did. And I feel so much gratitude to the writing process and the fact that I showed up to ask the questions. I don’t think I could have come to the decision to have a child if I hadn’t worked my way through it by examining those ideas on paper and excavating my thoughts and feelings and ambivalence.
BB: We mention Baby Love in the movie, and I always say that book gave me the courage to become a mom. Your questions allowed me unpack a few things about daughterhood. Which in turn, helped me take the next steps.
RW: The questions are important. And in this moment, I’m asking a new set of questions: Why am I writing now? Do I still need to write? Who am I writing for? And is writing books even important anymore? At this point, I’ve done every kind of book—I’ve edited collections, written fiction and memoir, an interactive journal—and now, it’s like, what is the next piece? And I’m not sure. I have a few books that are due, but I’m really wondering about the power of writing and what it can offer and if it’s necessary for me. And I think at the end of the day, the answer is going to be yes, but I’m in the process of trying to reconnect with that inner drive, the sense of immediacy and necessity. Because I’ve never been a writer who can produce without that. If I don’t feel my work has some kind of meaning in the world, it’s hard for me to sit down and pour it out. And so I’m in this process of trying to figure out who it’s for, whether it's necessary in these times, and if I have the energy to do it.
BB: Let’s talk about your book, Women Talk Money.
RW: Women Talk Money came out of a lot of conversations from the Great Recession of 2007-8. I was talking to my friends about money in ways that I’d never talked to them before. Everyone was struggling, and all of a sudden people could talk about it. There was an urgency that opened the floodgates and helped us all be more honest and transparent about our struggles with money, whether they were in the moment or historical. So many of us grew up being taught to avoid talking about money. And that’s the way our class system is perpetuated and the way economic disparity is maintained—people don’t talk about their finances, the money they have, the money they want. They secret it in this shame-based ethos that’s very dangerous.
But talking about it with my friends allowed us to pursue other other ways of talking about money and making money, and it occurred to me, these were important stories to share in the hopes of ultimately helping women become more financially stable.
I always say, Women Talk Money is the book you read before the investment strategy book, before you start doing your IRA planning. It’s the book that helps readers reflect on what they were taught about money and work through it.
And I’m very proud of it, it was very difficult to do. Talking about money is hard. Harder than talking about feminism or polygamy! But sharing this information is key for us to be empowered when we walk into any room, any negotiation, all of it. It’s just crucial.
BB: Did you relate to Ramona at Midlife? Did you recognize any parts of your experience in hers?
RW: I loved Ramona, just as a human who was really struggling to figure out who we are at this phase, at this age, and what we want to write about, if we want to write. How do we find our story, how we structure our story. What are the models? What are the templates?
So I related to her a lot. And her transition with her relationship, it just felt so real to me.
I responded to the idea of allowing the spaciousness and the time to come to the work that we’re meant to do, and not to rush that or doubt it, even when the whole world is projecting onto you that you’re not doing enough, not fast enough, not doing it right. But just trusting that you’re trying to live each moment with as much truth as you can muster.
BB: What are you excited about now?
RW: I am really loving the children’s book. I had the most incredible illustrator, Maria Perez from Spain. She created our world in a magical way. It’s an important book for working parents, because it’s really talking about how important it is for creators and mothers to show our children what it looks like to have a mission.
The second volume will come out next year. Both books are about the non-digital things you do with your child. They’re meant to teach patience and respect and help us see that the simple things are the most important—taking out the garbage, checking on the chickens, singing to the stars, just being together. Your kid just really wants to be with you, and you want to be with your kid.
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Love,
Brooke